[CHEF] If I could share my life with you Just think how happy we'd be We'd share our hovel built for two Complete with vermin for three We could while away each hopeless day Comparing open sores Yes, life would blow But much less, though If I could share mine with yours [GWYNNE]: No, I can't. It's impossible! If I could share my life with you [CHEF]: Admit it, it would be nice [GWYNNE]: We'd share one cot, one chamber pot [CHEF]: Plus trench mouth, tapeworms, and lice In the freezing night We'd cuddle tight And sip some rancid wine [BOTH]: And life won't taste like human waste If you could share yours with mine [CHEF]: We would have a dozen kids [GWYNNE]: And maybe one won't die [CHEF]: And the plague [GWYNNE]: The runs [CHEF]: Invading Huns [BOTH]: Just think how time would fly If you could share your life with me I'll cherish every foul breath [CHEF]: We would have a dozen kids [GWYNNE]: The filth [CHEF]: The rot [GWYNNE]: The leprosy [BOTH]: The painful, lingering d**h Thank the Lord our life expectancy Is merely thirty two [CHEF]: Yes, it would be sweet misery If I could share it with you [GWYNNE]: Yeah, it might be sweet misery [BOTH]: To share what's left with you