Akiva Schaffer - After Party lyrics

[ANDY SAMBERG] After the club is the after party After the party is the hotel lobby After that, you know it's Dom and Cris And after that, I say, 'Excuse me, miss' And after that, we goin' back to the room And after that, she's gonna leave real soon And after that, I crack one more beer And after that, I just stare in the mirror And after that, I start freakin' out What the hell am I doing with my life' Call up my mom and get my cry on I order room service, get my apple pie on And after that, I just walk the streets A homeless dude throws up on my feet And I see just how pointless life is Full on existential crisis Tear off my clothes and scream at the sky Fall to my knees and ask God, 'why'' [SANTIGOLD] This nightlife is k**ing me I think I'm losing my mind I yearn to fly, yet I sink Cristal and tears is my drink [ANDY SAMBERG] After that, I drive into the hills And trade my car for a bottle of pills And after that, I'm on a vision quest Put my mind, body, and soul to the test And after that, I meet my totem spirit It's a rattlesnake, so I have to k** it Then I drink all his blood and steal his powers Slither around in the dirt for hours And after that I start jerking off Up on a mountain, jerking off Down by the river, jerking off And that's when I have my epiphany You can't spend your whole life jerking off And after that, I'm going back to the city [SANTIGOLD] This nightlife is k**ing me No more jerking off Fate only knows what's in store Cristal and tears for me, no more [ANDY SAMBERG] And after that, I clean up my life Join AA to make it right And after that, I get my thirty day chip And after that, I go celibate And after that, I'm a whole new man Brew kombucha in my hybrid van I give my life to meditation Then sleep with a who*e at a Greyhound station And after that, I have a full relapse Then lose my hand in a game of craps And after that, everyone calls me Claw And after that, I work for Tim McGraw (Hey! ) And after that, I pa** out in a sewer Meet a giant fish, f** his brains out And after, that I'm filled with shame No one but myself to blame Nothing in my heart but pain And next week we're gonna do it again! [SANTIGOLD] This nightlife's got it's hooks in me I'm back to jerking off I tried but could not break free Cristal and tears return to me Started in the club Then he moved to the Hills Really freaked out and drank snake blood Got himself clean Now back in the club And that's what happened in this song Cristal and tears This playboy life's too much for me [ANDY SAMBERG] After the club is the after party After the party is the hotel lobby Stuck in a cycle I just can't win And after that, it all happens again