Afroman - If It Ain't Free lyrics

Ladies and gentlemen, h*mos**uals, lesbians and transvestites I am your platter spinnin' poppa, your woofer whopper Your G-mosavé from the mohavé Sellin' weed out the alley of the anti-dope valley Rollin' like a tumbleweed through Pimpville, Pimpafornia I'm the Hungry Hustler, Afro mutha' f**in' Givin' a shout out to all these parasites (Parasites? You understand me?) These mosquitos (Mosquitos) Mosquite ho's Swarmin' around my water tryin' to s** me dry But money come to hard to give it all to a broad (I know that's right, hell, yeah) We all do stupid things payin' too much for p**y Don't have to be one of em' So fellas, don't get p**y-whoopped (Say what?) Whoop that p**y (While yer bullshuttin' looky here boy) And we ain't talkin' bout all women But if the maxipad fits, go ahead and wear it b**h (Henh do you undersmell me?) (Check this out loco) Babay, you are the woman of my dreams (Yes you go on an do your thang) And I really want to put a woman like you somewhere on my team You have a sense of humor you s**y and you smart (You so intelligent) But when you tried to take my money, honey You broke my f**in' heart (C'mon 'cuz where you at loco? You broke my f**in' heart) I said baby, yeah, I need you to step on out my car (Step on out my car don't forget your panties and your bra) 'Cuz now I know exactly what you are (Ladies and gentlemen, fresh off parole the Quarterpiece Quartet) You gold diggin' b**h usin' yer p**y tryin' to get rich maybe (What you say baby? You need some what? You need some money?) If your p**y ain't free it's not for me, baby (You know you f**ed up, don't ya? you know you f**ed up Don't ya? don't ya?) You's a gold diggin' b**h usin' yer p**y tryin' to get rich maybe (N-n-no you'd you better not skip this song, you better Not skip this song) If your p**y ain't free it's not for me (I'll be sittin' up there) Baby (Watchin' them male bashers Ricky Lake and Queen Latifah So listen to this sh**, biotch) See, I finally figured out why these ho's be hoin' p**y is the only thing a b**h got goin' It must be Sunday, 'cuz you got no cla** With the G-string goin' up the crack o'yer a** (Crack o'yer a**) Yo, you didn't speak back when I spoke to you (Spoke to you) Why? Do I look broke to you? You put your head down, baby, then you pa** me (Pa** me) You hit the dance floor and started dancin' nasty (Nasty) And it's a trip when a stripper start to strip All the home boys feel obligated to tip Baby, even though I love the way you grease your thighs I'm savin' my money for some chile cheese fries Please, don't make me laugh ho Take yo gold diggin' hands off my Afro (Afro) Give you money for dancin'? Come on, boo I wouldn't give it to you, if you let me come on you Ooh, I never found a gold diggin' woman arousin' I'm a stingy black boy from the year two thousand Payin' a broad is preposterous Unless you stick your dick down her esophagus And even if you did that, you still a trick (Still a trick) You need to make the woman pay for your dick (You know) You the one huffin', you the one puffin' She the one layin' there, ain't doin' nuthin' And I bet you ate the p**y hopin' for good luck Nine times outta ten you didn't get your dick s**ed b**h too busy, thinkin' 'bout Takin' all the money out yer bank account So get out my Cadillac, real slow And go back home to your dil-do If you're lookin' for a trick, Miss Gold Digger You need to go talk to a old n***a You gold diggin' b**h usin' yer p**y tryin' to get rich maybe (All these little undercover prostitutes, 'cuz) If your p**y ain't free it's not for me, baby (Get to the house and the b**h stick out her hand and sh**) You's a gold diggin' b**h usin' yer p**y tryin' to get rich maybe (You know I ain't tryin' to be too n******gish on the microphone You know what I'm sayin' cuz?) If your p**y ain't free it's not for me, baby (Hey, let's flip it with finesse, for the ladies) (Honey) Man, this girl walked up to me the other day (You can't have my money) I ain't even f**in' her she want me to jeopardize my life Take her to the wrong neighborhood way across town (Honey) And got mad at me when I asked her for some Money for some gas in my Cadillac (You can't have my money) I told her like this eyea, b**h, I ain't playin' It ain't like you my woman you know what I'm sayin'? Talkin' 'bout a man s'posed to take care of a woman I told her like sugar free, I said now wait a minute baby, hold on (Hold on) That's drama naw, naw, that's some sh** you got from your mama Now I ain't fixin' to break nary fingernail goin' oops upside yo head Talkin' 'bout take me shopping I told her like be legit check this sh** out, I say, hey man I said hit me when your welfare check is comin' And maybe we can go to the mall, or sumpin' punk b**h (Hey what's Nate Dogg tell them b**hes man? Hey let me concentrate and say) 'Cuz I-I-I have never met a girl (Whay you playin' me hey come on y'all) That I love, in the whole wide world (What Ice Cube say, hey check it out, he say) Last night she s**ed my dick Now she kissin' Little Man Won't he s** my dick and let's cut out the Middleman, man, man, man, man, man, man, man