Aesop Rock - Varsity Blues 2 lyrics

So here we go again Verse One]: I sink deeper It's got me in the sleeper I feel nothing, heart colder than a deep freezer Numb to life so I'm numb to the pain It's like it won't be happy till it drives me insane My brain Minus serotonin Won't let me see straight, don't know where I'm going Can't see the light, it's like it's got my eyes closed And the pills that they give me, just another blindfold I'm psycho I can't sleep at night so I read comic books, play X-Box and write flows That help you through the tough times But when it gets rough who's gonna help me get through mines? Mind tricks the body, body thinks the minds crazy But this sick mind makes the kid rhyme amazing Do I really want to curify? Attempt to purify? Could that be career suicide? [Hook]: They say I'm only good when the session is depressing So I crucify myself so that you can learn a lesson They say I'm at my best when I'm at the most stressed out It's like only see success when I'm wrestling with doubt [Verse Two]: Huh, here it come again It's like I'm running then I fall flat, He laugh and I'm stuck within A nightmare, my darkest dreams A night terror where they can't hear me scream The crowd screaming, they going insane They think I'm just rapping but I'm really in pain I'm so lame, stop drinking, stop smoking Walking past women with their legs wide open Heartbroken She left but I'm hoping She come back so I can split her rib cage open Backstage, overcome with emotion Twisting up a smile while my stomach does convulsions I feel sick Once sober, feel sicker Try to save my liver, need to see the big picture But praise be and pa** me the elixir Cause I seem to need liquor like a priest needs scriptures The chapter reads verse 3:16 While I toke on this smoke like a skitzo fiend AAAAAHHHHH I'm in that mood again Shadows on the sun, demons moving in Room getting dark, attitude is grim Only had a couple friends and I'm losing them When the sh** gets deep, all you do is swim Cause your deepest blue could be your truest sin [Hook]: They say I'm only good when the session is depressing So I crucify myself so that you can learn a lesson They say I'm at my best when I'm at the most stressed out It's like only see success when I'm wrestling with doubt [Verse Three] I used to squab everyday Homie I used to get down These days I pull punches where I hear them talking sh** now I blow the steam off just to get the dream off These fools in the industry is thinking that it means 'soft' Feeling like I need my pistol If I shoot me a rapper does that make me official? I got issues, but that's old news Like Back issues, I threw away them old shoes Now stepping in a new direction Giving you the last chapters of my Blues collection With new success then, you loose affection With friends you choose, you should use discretion Friends become enemies and jealousy is an energy That used to be love and love is too finicky Tendencies is so suicidal Talking bullets out the chamber with each of my recitals [Hook]: They say I'm only good when the session is depressing So I crucify myself so that you can learn a lesson They say I'm at the best when I'm at the most stressed out It's like only see success when I'm wrestling with doubt