Adventure Time - Business Time lyrics

Title: Business Time [The episode begins at Iceberg Lake where Finn is lighting a flamethrower with a Flambit] Finn: Yeah! [Laughs and torches an iceberg] Yeah! [The iceberg melts, exposing several objects inside] Finn: I found another bike, and more computers. What do you got? Jake: I keep finding baby shoes! [Jake torches an iceberg with his flamethrower and exposes more baby shoes] Jake: WHAT THE HECK, MAN?! And they're all lefties! Sorry I'm not finding any loot. Finn: Keep it together, chubby, because I think we found enough scrap to finish building our gauntlet dock; a dock that is also a gauntlet. Jake: Aww. Building this gauntlet dock is hard, man. Hard work s**s. Finn: Don't be lazy, Jake. [There's a bubbling noise coming from the lake behind Finn and Jake] Finn: Huh? Jake: Incoming iceberg! Finn: Whoa! That one's huge! Jake: I got dibs! Ooo. I hope it's not baby shoes. [Jake wipes the surface of the ice, which reveals a face within the ice] Jake: [Gasps] It's a guy. Finn: Creepy. It's a buncha guys. Jake: You know what they remind me of? Well-dressed pickles. Finn: Stand back, Jake! I'm gonna melt 'em outta there! Full charge. [Finn blasts a huge flame out of his flamethrower and Jake runs up to stop him] Jake: Whoa, don't roast 'em, man. You gotta flambé. [Jake gently brushes the flame across the iceberg and it soon melts] Jake: Ah. Perfecto. Bon appetit. Finn: Hey! Can you hear me? Hello? Jake: [Knocking on one of their heads] I don't think they made it. Finn: Hey. [Reaching for a briefcase] This one's got some kind of pack. [One of them comes to life and pushes Finn away; Finn screams] Red-tie businessman: I remember... business. Finn: Let go! Let go! Let go! Red-tie businessman: We... are businessmen. Finn: Oooh... Well, I'm Finn and he's Jake. Jake: What kind of business do you do? Red-tie businessman: Been frozen... so long, I... [The businessmen all shake their heads, as if in pain] can't remember. Can't remember! Oh. Looking for help, your business? We love work for you. Finn: Nah. Adventurers don't need any help. Jake: Yes! Help us fix that dock. Red-tie businessman: Dock-ka? Jake: Yeah! Right over there. Red-tie businessman: Yes. This dock-ka... could be more... efficient. Finn: No! Wait! [The businessmen reel back and murmur as if frightened] Finn: Jake, this dock is our fun pie. We should be the ones to bake it. Jake: But they're begging for it, Finn. Just look at 'em. [The businessmen look excited and several of them are drooling] Businessmen: [Murmuring] Build dock. Build dock. Jake: Finn. These poor souls are lost without jobs. We can't ignore their plight. Finn: Uhh... Jake: [To the businessmen] Go on guys, fix it up! Businessmen: Woo! [The businessmen murmur excitedly as they run over to the dock and begin building] Finn: Well... they do seem really happy to do it. Jake: Of course, man. They said they "love work for you." Businessmen: [In unison] Uhh... We finish. [The camera zooms out to show a completed gauntlet dock] Finn: Whoa! Jake: Told ya so. Finn: Come on! Let's try it out! [Finn and Jake run through the gauntlet dock, avoiding the traps and obstacles, while Finn screams excitedly] [At the end of the dock, Finn and Jake jump into the water] Finn: [Laughing] Yeah! Woo! Jake: [Laughing] Yeah! Woo! [Panting] See? If we hire them full time, they'll be back in business and we'll be able to focus on fun stuff. Everybody wins! Finn: Maybe you're right. Jake: [To the businessmen] You hear that, guys? Maybe I'm right! Red-tie businessman: Really? Job? With... ad-ven-tur-ers? Jake: Yeah, mans! [The businessmen cheer and dance] [The red-tie businessman throws down his briefcase and chisels "Fin [sic] & Jake Adventuring Incorporated" into the side] [The scene changes to the Tree Fort where the businessmen are cleaning weapons, ironing socks and shining shoes] [Jake is playing a video game on BMO] Finn: Feels weird doing nothing. Jake: Relax, man. This is your day off. Hot Dog Princess: [From far in the distance] Help! Somebody help! Finn: Trouble, dude! Get your axe! I'll get my... wha? Red-tie businessman: Adventure pack... ready for you. Finn: Hey, thanks man. [The scene changes to Finn and Jake running across the Gra** Lands, weapons in hand] Finn: I have to say, Jake. My sword is totally shiny and stinkin' sharp! Jake: Uh huh. Finn: Even my shoes feel different. Not only are they clean, I feel radder, faster, more... adequate. Jake: Cool! [The businessmen are running behind Finn and Jake, writing notes] [A battle cube is chasing Hot Dog Princess] Hot Dog Princess: Help! Finn: Don't cry, Hot Dog Princess! Jake and I will fend off these battle cubes! [The businessmen sit off to the side and continue to take notes while eating donuts and drinking coffee] [Finn and Jake begin to fight the battle cubes, which are flying around Hot Dog Princess' kingdom] [The scene fades to a later time, where everyone is tired from fighting and Hot Dog Princess is taking a nap] Finn: Man. I'm getting tired. Jake: [Groan] Me too. These cubes are... frickin' resilient. Hey, business dudes! Hold off these cubes so we can catch our breath? Finn: Jake! They don't know how to fight. [The businessmen run over, wearing armor and wielding weapons; they begin fighting the battle cubes while Finn and Jake rest] Red-tie businessman: [Offering bottled water and orange slices] Water. Orange slices. Help rehydrate. [Red-tie businessman runs back into battle, shouting] Jake: These guys are great, right? Finn: I gotta admit... they are helping. [Surprised] Oh! I think I figured out how to defeat the battle cubes! Jake: That's cause you had time to rest your body and refresh your brain. Finn: [To businessmen] Ok! We'll take it from here, guys! Jake: Yeah! Good work. [Finn and Jake run towards the battle cubes; Jake roars and grows large] Finn: Grab all the cubes together! [Jake stretches his hands to become giant and clasps them together, grabbing all the cubes] Jake: Got 'em! [Finn grunts and jumps into Jake's hands with a rope and ties all the battle cubes together into a single, large cube] Finn: It worked! [Jake throws the cubes off into the distances] Finn: Wake up, Hot Dog Princess. You're free. Hot Dog Princess: Oh! Thank you, Finn and Jake! Especially you, Finn. [Hot Dog Princess stands on her hind legs and puckers her lips, as if to give Finn a kiss] [Finn rears back, disgusted] Finn: [Whispering to Jake] Ugh. She smells like old hot dog water. [Jake giggles and the red-tie businessman runs in between Finn and Hot Dog Princess to take the kiss instead] Red-tie businessman: [Whispering to Finn] I take one for team. Finn: This is awesome! You get a promotion, fella. [Red-tie businessman cheers and dances] businessman: Take one for team, too. [The other businessmen begin kissing Hot Dog Princess] [The scene changes to the Tree Fort where Finn and Jake are playing BMO] Jake: Oh... Lost again! Finn: [Grabbing the controller] My turn. [Jake walks over to the businessmen, operating a large collection of wires and monitors] Jake: What's that? [Jake goes to the freezer and takes out a tub of ice cream] Red-tie businessman: Hero vision monitor. Use satellite to tell us world problems. Jake: Oh, wow. Anything going on? Red-tie businessman: Just small things. You save stress for big thing. Jake: Freakin' awesome, man. Finn: What are they doing? Jake: Takin' care of business. [Jake eats a scoop of ice cream and Finn plays the video game] Finn: Jake, hit me! [Jake flings a scoop of ice cream into Finn's mouth] [Time pa**es, showing more and more empty ice cream tubs stacked near Finn and Jake while both of them are getting fatter and fatter] Video game: Mission complete. Jake: Yeah! [Finn and Jake get up and dance around, shaking their enormous guts] Finn: We beat Adventure Master! Jake: Holy moly! Finn: We're adventure masters! Jake: Woo! Yes! [Finn and Jake both get tired and stop celebrating to take a breath] Finn & Jake: [Tired] Ooo. Finn: I never knew being fat and lazy was so rewarding. Jake: Yeah. [pushing around Finn's gut] You're gut's so huge and moldable. Finn: Hey! Jake: Hold on a sec! Finn: [Laughs] Man, that tickles. [Jake manipulates Finn's gut to look like the Ice King] Jake: [Impersonating Ice King's voice] I'm the Ice King, and I'll never find a bride because I'm such a tool. Finn: [Laughs] Alright, let me try. [Finn manipulates his gut to look like Princess Bubblegum] Finn: [Impersonating Princess Bubblegum's voice] I'm Princess Bubblegum and I'm a dork, because I like science! I've also got a really annoying voice that Finn thinks is attractive! Jake: [Laughs] That's a- Hey, what'd you say? Lumpy Space Princess: [On a hero vision monitor, running from a Swamp Giant] Ahh! Oh, my gosh! Leave me alone. All I said was "you're ugly," which is totally true. Somebody help me! Oh no! Jake: Man, I am not in the mood for saving Lumpy Space Princess. Finn: Hey, business dudes! [The businessmen enter the room from various directions] Finn: What do you guys think? Red-tie businessman: Hmm... Just one monster. We do. [The businessmen run off] Jake: Right. We'll just save our strength for the big adventures, then. [Finn and Jake sit back down on their couch and relax] Jake: Ahh. Nice call, dude. Finn: Imagine how awesome the adventure's going to be when it's time for us to go out there. Jake: I'm too tired to imagine stuff, but I bet you're right. Finn & Jake: [Both grabbing a tub of ice cream and toasting with them] To being great adventurers! [They both begin eating ice cream; time pa**es and shows that they have empty tubs and ice cream all over their faces. They are even fatter, and Finn's gut is now visible outside his shirt] [Finn and Jake both groan and waiver until they fall over] Finn: Oh, gosh. A voice in the distance: Help us! Finn: Huh? Jake! Did you hear that? Jake: Yeah. Let the businessmen handle it. A voice in the distance: Help! Please! Finn: I heard it again. Jake: businessmen, dude. A voice in the distance: Heeeeeelp! [Finn walks over to the window and gasps, seeing the businessmen in a large robot, s**ing up Fuzzy Friends into a container] Red-tie businessman: [Through a PA system] Woo-hoo! Woo! Finn: Jake! We messed up! The businessmen have gone bat-crazy, dude! Jake: [Still lying on the floor] Man, just let the businessmen handle it. Finn: THE BUSINESSMEN ARE THE PROBLEM, you lazy plug-hole! Jake: [Opens his eyes, surprised] Huh? Finn: [Yelling out the window] Guys! [Finn begins to climb out the window and down to the bottom of the Tree Fort] Finn: Guys, stop it! Finn: [Running up to the businessmen's robot] Stop it, guys! Red-tie businessman: Stop what, boss? Finn: You're jacking up those Fuzzy Friends! Red-tie businessman: But... We're being heroes. Like you, boss. We're protecting them. Collecting them in our care-sack so they cannot be hurt. It's the most efficient way to save people. Finn: But you're making them unhappy! Red-tie businessman: Irrelevant! These people are in our care-sack. Their happiness is not priority. Finn: I am your boss! And you guys are all fired! [The businessmen begin to murmur to each other] Red-tie businessman: Fi-red? [The businessmen shout angrily and start s**ing up the Fuzzy Friends even faster than before] [They move their robot and it crushes one of the Fuzzy Friends] Finn: Nooo! Alright, guys. Now I've gotta take you down... Finn style. [Finn runs over to kick their robot, and gets s**ed up into the care-sack] Finn: I'm kicking your care-sack, dudes! Jake: Finn? Whoa... Crud. [Jake squeezes his enormous gut out the window] Jake: I'm comin' buddy! [Jake flops onto the ground, still holding a tub of ice cream] Jake: Ahh. I'm so fat, dude; I don't know what to do. Finn: [Gasp] That's it! Jake! Demoralize them! Jake: What? Why? Finn: Do it, man! I have a legit plan! Jake: Ok, Alright. [To businessmen] Hey! You guys are horrible at business! [The businessmen lash about angrily and try to s** Jake up into their care-sack, but he's too fat to fit] Jake: Huh? They're s**ing me up, dude! Finn: Now, eat that ice cream some more to become fatter, while also using your Stretchy Powers to grow huge! [Jake chows down on the ice cream and starts getting bigger] Jake: [lifting his head up for a second] Ok! [Jake uses his Stretchy Powers as he gets pulled into the robot] Jake: This s**s. Finn: Yeah, dude! Keep growin'! You're breaking apart their robot! [The robot begins to shake violently, the businessmen scream] Jake: Oh no! [The robot explodes and Finn, Jake and the businessmen go flying into the air] Red-tie businessman: [Attempting to grab Finn] I'm going to k** you, not-boss! Finn: Wait, man! Wait! I wanna re-hire you guys! Red-tie businessman: Re-hire? Really? Finn: Yeah, mans. Businessmen: Woo hoo! [As they all fall back to the ground, the businessmen and Finn grasp hands and form a five-point star] [The scene changes to a beach, where Finn, Jake and the Fuzzy Friends are waving towards the water] Fuzzy Friends: Yay! Hip-hip hooray! Pancakes! [The businessmen are once again frozen in an iceberg and float back out to the middle of the lake] Jake: So, wait... What'd you hire them to do? Finn: I hired them to stuff themselves in that iceberg and get outta here. Jake: [Sigh] I'm gonna miss 'em. And I'm gonna miss this gut. [Jake uses his Stretchy Powers to return to his normal size] Finn: [Laughs] I'm gonna miss my gut too. [Finn strains and attempts to s** in his gut, but it doesn't disappear] Finn: Aww! Aww... [The camera zooms in to Finn's frowning face] [The episode ends]