[Intro: Greg Serrano, played by Santino Fontana] When we're together I feel so grand My heart goes tippity-tap-tap-tap When I hold your hand But I know there's another guy You fancy more So, even though I'm not the one you adore Why not... [Verse 1: Greg] Settle for me Darling, just settle for me I think you'll have to agree We make quite a pair I know I'm only second place in this game But like two-percent milk or seitan beef I almost taste the same So won't you settle for me Come on and settle for me Say yes or no before I choke on all this swallowed pride I have no problem being picked out from the bottom If he's your broken condom, I'm Plan B! So lower those expectations and settle for me Am I OK with this? Totally [Interjection: Rebecca Bunch, played by Rachel Bloom] Oh sweet, a gown [Verse 2: Greg] Settle for me, babycakes Just settle for me, schmoopy-pie I'm begging you please Can't you see the light? Sugar jugs, I'm so bereft Demeaning terms are all that I have left Of my masculinity So settle for me [Interjection: Rebecca] So twirly! [Bridge: Greg] Little girl Don't make me feel like a little girl Exposed and raw Whose b**bs can't even fill a training bra Let's pretend I didn't say that [Greg] Settle for me [Rebecca] It's a practical proposal [Greg] Settle for me [Rebecca] It makes a certain sense [Greg] He's a fantasy But hey let's think this through Yes, Josh is a dream, but I'm right here In flesh and blood and self-hate [Both] Settle for me [Greg] In a sad way, darling, it's fate [dance break] [Rebecca] You're like Rocky Five to Rocky [Greg] Solange to Beyoncé Not asking to be your fiancé But if tonight or tomorrow If you happen to be free Maybe, just maybe Settle for me!