Adam Sandler - The Buffoon And The Valedictorian lyrics

Performed by adam sandler and jennifer lien "and now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian." Valedictorian: "i really appreciate you're asking me out. most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement." Buffoon: "this movie s**s sh**!" Valedictorian: "well, ebel gave it thumbs up, but ciscel thought it was too preachy. anyway, i enjoyed the director's last film immensly." Buffoon: "cathleen turner has big f**in' tits!" Valedictorian: "yes, well, she recently had a child. i think her maternal biology may play a role in that. she looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?" Buffoon: "i put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his f**in' head off." Valedictorian: "well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their maturing process." Buffoon: "that girl in the f**ing car in front of us, she gives everybody head." Valedictorian: "well, i guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it." [buffoon eating popcorn] Buffoon: "this popcorn's f**in' terrible. it tastes like someone jizzed all over it." [buffoon continues to eat popcorn] Valedictorian: "well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing. perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by the monotony of their work and decided to play a Dish prank." Buffoon: "i looked at my a**hole in the mirror today. it blew my f**in' mind!" Valedictorian: "it's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd and unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis. Buffoon: "my father's sh** stinks up the bathroom all f**in' day!" Valedictorian: "it's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more overpowering than another's. i wonder whether it is a function of the food digested or that person's internal metabolis Ot; Buffoon: "i'm gonna go get head from that f**in' girl." [gets out of the car] Valedictorian: "well, i'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt conclusion." [buffoon walking away] "i do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future rondevue." Buffoon: "i like to piss in that guy's f**in' gas tank!" Valedictorian: "bye bye! have fun." [buffoon continues to walk away]