Adam Sandler - The Mayor Of p**ytown lyrics

Yo it's 2004 and all you candy a**es thinkin ya'll real pussies ya'll ain't seen sh** yet eh yo man let em know Oh yeah, guess who's back it's the mother f**in p**y with the little nutsack don't care about cheddar or the paper chase i'm a f**in grown man with zits on my face a straight up chicken sh** a pansy a** punk If i'm if i'm guarding your a** it's an automatic slam dunk while thugs are at the party bustin all ya'lls a**es I'm hidin in the corner wonderin where the f**'s my gla**es Can't afford no rims my my f**in dick's so small no b**h can s** it I don't pop 9's i got weak rhymes back in 9 duce i got pissed on 10 times I roll solo i ain't got no clue i said please don't hit me more than a cow says moo afraid of heights i'm a-scared in the dark i walk an extra 3 miles to avoid crazy f**s in the park denied by the bloods, turned down by the crypts my f**in auntie kicked my a** and she got 2 plastic hips when i step to the club feel free to stare me down because I just got re-elected the mayor of p**ytown May-or-of-pus-sy-town When bangers hit the street i stay home and watch tv slumped out on the couch so no one can see unless I hear somebody knockin on my door then you'll see me crawlin cross the mother f**in floor i've been a f**in coward every day of my life, that's why I pretend I don't know everyone's banging my wife i won't sit on the porch, i don't want no trouble i'm more afraid of goin out than the f**in boy in a bubble when the sh** goes down i make a break so fast look like a mother f**in rocket goin past searchin for the sneakiest place to hide straight into the ladies room, ain't got no pride slippin slidin, runnin hidin you know damn well it's a scooter i'm ridin oh no here we go, out come the glocks i take off so fast i pop out my socks you gonna f** with me, i'll cry then run i called the cops when i got shot with a f**in squirt gun He clams up he shuts down His pants he almost sh**s He'll even look the other way if you grab his grandma's tits well I had a little poodle but neighbor's stoled her i'd shoot her with an ak but the kick hurts my shoulder i can't pop no gun and i can't fist fight hell i'm afraid to take out the f**in garbage at night I use the steps in the pool cause i'm terrified to dive don't f** with my floaties they's whats keepin me alive, b**h never drank remy never delt crack one time I smoked weed i had a panic attack if you're looking for my dick in the mens locker room just bring your binoculars with a f**in super zoom naw i'm just playin i don't f**in change in there the one time I did got my bush sprayed off with nair but did I stick up for myself no f**in doubt i did what i do best, i broke the f** out i ain't lookin at you i ain't tryin to front it's aight with me you called my jimmy a c*nt freakin sneakin crawlin creepin when the gangs are bangin i'm in the basement sleepin i'm straight from the streets seen trouble in every side when the sh** hits the fan i throw on a f**in disguise fake nose fake wig fake beard it all worked pretty good sometimes I just use a map and a funny accent and pretend I got lost in the hood mother f**er now all you coward mother f**ers out there walkin round with your head hangin low just cause you ate one dick just know my man the mayor, had to s** off his whole high school case closed May-or-of-pus-sy-town