[Verse 1] The bartender's working on a late night shift She is bonka blonds and Bon aims on a midnight drift And the dance band's playing the same old slam I am sinking whiskey and you are sipping fine wine I don't know what it is you are trying to prove Well it should be you but it is me who can hardly move And I have got my reputation lying on the line Come on baby, be a good dog and help the blind [Bridge] Won't you carry me home (Like a truck, pick me up) [Verse 2] You are not no lady but you have sure got taste in men That head of yours has got you by time and time again My arms and legs are aching and my head's about to blow And your back's been breaking and I'd hate to spoil the show But I have just spent next weeks wages and I am right out of coin But you want more and it's half past four and they want to close the joint But we can't afford a taxi, and it's too late for the bus But I have been told by friends of mine you are someone I can trust [Chorus] Carry me home Won't you carry me home Carry me home [Verse 3] You drank all your booze and half of mine I am bleary eyed and you are waiting for the sunshine (to come and k** me) Just like the man who threw me on the floor Don't matter, while I am down here I might as well try and find the f**ing door Excuse me, have you seen it? It is about this big And have you got a plastic bag because I am going to be sick I am dead drunk and heaven hanging upside down And you are getting up and leaving, you think I am going to drown [Chorus]