Aaron McGruder - A Date with the Booty Warrior lyrics

SUPERIMPOSED: The following footage is an excerpt from NBC's "To Catch a Predator” originally filmed in 2005. The episode never aired. FADE TO BLACK: [We fade in to a view of a door from the interior of a house. In walks The Booty Warrior. He walks down the hallway towards the kitchen.] YOUNG BOY (O.S.) Hold on I just got out of the shower, there's some juice on the table [The Booty Warrior sits down in front of the table.] THE BOOTY WARRIOR Mhmm, take your time [We hear the clicking of a door being opened. Chris Hanson walks in to the room. The Booty Warrior pays him no attention.] CHRIS HANSON You want to explain to me what you're doing here? THE BOOTY WARRIOR I came looking for booty CHRIS HANSON You came looking for s**, with an under-age boy? THE BOOTY WARRIOR Oh naw, I ain't come looking for no little boys I ain't got no milk, no cookies, nothing. I came looking for man's bu*t CHRIS HANSON A man's bu*t? Excuse me? THE BOOTY WARRIOR *Turns to Chris.* Oh I know who you are, Chris Hanson, but see I-I calls you Chris Handsome. I watch your TV show all the time. So, you can go ahead bring them cameras and polices waiting outside. It don't make me no difference. Now, I tell you what…I like ya and I want ya. Now we can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way the choice is yours. CHRIS HANSON Well I don't think you and I will be doing anything, any-kind of way. THE BOOTY WARRIOR Ok, I-I see you choosin' the hard way. CHRIS HANSON (O.S.) Okay, cut this isn't working, someone get this guy- THE BOOTY WARRIOR *He tackles Chris and pins him to the table.* Don't make me ruin the bu*t Chris! I'm a warrior! (Chris Hanson Screams) as The Booty Warrior seemingly “ruins the bu*t”. CUT TO: HUEY FREEMAN (NARRATION) Tom DuBois was widely known to be a friend of the gay community. Tom was a crusader for gay marriage. He marched in gay pride parades. He watched gay movies and never once turned away or even made a face during the gay s** scenes. TOM DUBOIS Wow. Sean Penn is amazing. HUEY (NARRATION) But beneath Tom's support of the gay community was a dark secret. Tom had a fear of going to jail and being an*lly raped. *As Tom walks in to a locker room of regular guys* [Tom hallucinates and sees all the guys in the locker room as buff, naked, inmates in a steamy prison shower room.] INMATE #1 Hey, hey, hey n***a. You got a nice little a**, n***a. Gimme your a**, n***a. You see me looking at you. Gimme your a**. TOM No! Stay away! INMATE #1 Hey, brown skin! *As Tom runs out of the locker room crying* HUEY (NARRATION) The phobia got so bad he took a leave of absence from his job. Eventually, he stopped leaving the house altogether. Finally, Tom found a program specializing in his phobia, treating patients with a combination of group therapy, TOM *Stands up.* My name is Tom and I have a fear of going to jail and being an*lly raped. REST OF PEOPLE IN GROUP THERAPY Hi, Tom. HUEY (NARRATION CONT'D) confidence-building affirmations ALL IN GROUP THERAPY My booty is mine. It belongs to me. You cannot take my boo-ty. HUEY (NARRATION CONT'D) and basic self-defense. [Tom's hands are wrapped around the group therapist. They are role playing, while the therapist shows them how to get out of the hold of an an*l rapist.] GROUP THERAPIST So when grabbed from behind, the first thing we do is drop our center of gravity. Then, we thrust our hips backwards and our arms forward, breaking the hold *Pushing Tom back. He walks behind Tom* Okay Tom now, I'll do you and you try to get me off. [The Therapist places his arms around Tom] TOM I can't! *Runs out* HUEY (NARRATION) It was a long road to recovery. CUT TO: INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE – DAY PRINCIPAL This is the third time your boys have been caught fighting this quarter, Mr. Freeman. This time, it was a brawl against five other boys. GRANDDAD What happened to him? HUEY He got in the way. PRINCIPAL You have two options, Mr. Freeman. The first is that both of your boys are expelled from school. RILEY Ooh, I'll take that one. Pick that one, Granddad! GRANDDAD And, uh, what's the other? PRINCIPAL We send your boys to prison. GRANDDAD Hold up. Don't you think that's a little- PRINCIPAL This is a permission slip for our Scared Stiff program *Hands him the permission slip*. Delinquent students visit a real jail so they can interact with real inmates and see the real future that awaits them if they continue with their pathological behavior. RILEY Ooh, I change my mind, Granddad! Pick jail! Pick jail! Pick jail! Pick jail! Please let me go to jail! CUT TO: INT. GROUP THERAPY SESSION – DAY GROUP THERAPIST Tom, do you have something you'd like to share with the group? TOM Why, yes I do *Stands up*. My name is Tom and I am no longer afraid of going to prison and being an*lly raped. GROUP THERAPIST That's fantastic, Tom. TOM And to prove it, tomorrow I'm going to prison. I've agreed to chaperone a Scared Stiff program. I'm taking a group of troubled youths to prison so they can mend their ways. GROUP THERAPIST Well, that's excellent, Tom. GUY SCARED OF an*l RAPE (O.S.) Whoa, man, are you sure about that? TOM Absolutely! I'm looking forward to it. GROUP THERAPIST See? Tom is going to face his fears head on. And he's gonna walk out of that prison with his rectum and his peace of mind intact. GUYS SCARED OF an*l RAPE Way to go, Tom! Way to go, buddy. TOM Anybody wanna come with me? No. No? Okay. CUT TO: INT. TOM AND SARAH'S HOUSE – DAY SARAH Honey, it is great that you're making so much progress with the therapy, but I just don't want you to think you have to prove anything to anyone. TOM Oh, honey! SARAH Look, I'm not worried about your safety, but I'd hate for you to have a bad experience and go back to how you were. TOM You know, I was thinking about becoming a defense attorney, but how can I do that if I'm too scared to step foot in prison? How would I meet with the clients? SARAH Wow! Tom, I had no idea. TOM Imagine it, sweetie. Saving people from an*l rape instead of sending them to it. And that's what this trip is about. These boys need this trip. They don't fear jail at all, which means they'll probably end up there if no one does anything. *Places his hands on Sarah's shoulders* Don't you see, honey? If I'm afraid to live my life then the an*l rapists win. My an*s is gonna be fine and I'm gonna make sure those young boys' an*ses are just fine too. SARAH Pause. CUT TO: EXT. J. EDGAR HOOVER ELEMENTARY – DAY TOM Okay, guys, remember to stay with the group at all times. And remember, nothing metal in your pockets. The guards will take it away from you and you won't get it back, okay? *Bus pulls up* Ah, okay, this is it. [The door folds open and Uncle Ruckus steps out] UNCLE RUCKUS All right, alright. My name is Uncle Ruckus, Volunteer Corrections Officer. Next stop, Willie Horton Maximum Security Prison. Now, you white children be prepared. This is gonna be like a trip to the zoo. But do not worry, your Uncle Ruckus will protect you. And as for you Negroes, well, this just gonna be like a trip to the future. So it should be exciting for everybody! Come on aboard! TOM *The boys pile on to the bus* We got mm-hm, all right Wait, where's Riley? [Tom walks around the side of the school. Riley is sharpening the edge of a toothbrush on the concrete.] TOM Riley, what are you doing? RILEY Nothing. TOM Give it here. RILEY Come on. TOM Riley, I am very disappointed in you. Now go get on that bus. RILEY We going inside, Mr. DuBois. Anything can happen in there. I gots to have my shank. You want me make you one? I brought an extra toothbrush. TOM Now. RILEY Man, if something happens, it's your fault. *Goes to the bus* [Tom begins to throw the shank away when he begins to think about what Riley said.] RILEY [TOM'S THOUGHTS V'O] Anything can happen in there. If something happens, it's your fault. Anything can happen in there. We going inside, Mr. DuBois. CUT TO: EXT. WILLIE HORTON MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON - DAY [After pulling in and going through security, the group is lead through the prison by guards and the warden. The prisoners shout at them] WARDEN It's tougher to shock kids nowadays. They already know what goes on in jail. But we do our best to scare the living sh** out of them. [They reach the room with the prisoners who are talking to them] 1ST PRISONER Some of you are here today 'cause you think jail is cool. But see y'all wouldn't know nothing about that sh**. Ain't sh** cool about jail, nyukka! I been here 10 years, and I ain't never getting out. I ain't do much. Just k** somebody. It ain't like the nyukka ain't have it coming. Y'all think it's just about us in here, but this is about an oppressive, f**ed-up system designed to keep n***as down and sh**. Y'all wouldn't know nothing about that. What about you, little n***a? You know about that? HUEY Yes. 1ST PRISONER Oh, you know about that? Tell me what you know about that! Tell me what you think about that! HUEY The prison-industrial complex is a system situated at the intersection of government and private interests. It uses prisons as a solution to social, political, and economic problems. It includes human rights violations, the d**h penalty, slave labor, policing, courts, the media, political prisoners, and the elimination of dissent. 1ST PRISONER n***a, did you just say what I was trying to say but smarter? I like this little n***a, but you left one thing out, little n***a. Show of hands, how many people ever raped a man. RILEY (O.S.) Pause. Heh-heh. [All of the prisoners raise their hands] 1ST PRISONER Uh-huh. How many people ever been raped by a man? RILEY Pause again. 1ST PRISONER All of them. One hundred percent. You can't get no higher than that, nyukka. You step in here, you getting raped. Right up the motherf**ing brown eye, baby. I raped a few n***as myself. I ain't really enjoy it, not that much. sh**, it felt good to the motherf**er though. I ain't let that n***a kiss me or nothing, but I did tear that motherf**ing a** up, n***a, I ain't gonna lie about it, but that's what the Man's oppressive system did to me. 2ND PRISONER Now, me? I'm more of a romantic type. I'll still rape you, but I'll definitely stroke your head lovingly while I do it. See, cause I want you to like it. Now, you don't have to like it, but I [The 2nd Prisoner pauses to stare at Tom] 2nd PRISONER Sorry. I was distracted by that fine motherf**er right there. What's your name, fine motherf**er? TOM I, uh don't think that's, um RILEY Tom. 2ND PRISONER Okay, now let's talk about Tom. Tom is the type of n***a that gives us wet dreams up in here. Medium brown, soft features, tall and in shape, but still soft and squishy. THE TOSSED SALAD GUY Now, I like to put the jelly inside my a**. Then put some of this peanut bu*ter on top of it. I call it a peanut bu*ter-jelly and a**hole sandwich, but Tom here will be calling it lunch. 1ST PRISONER You know what the system does when you come to prison? They strip you. They strip you mentally, emotionally, and they strip you naked. But-a** naked! What the f** is you looking at n***a? Punch you right in your motherf**ing temple, n***a. Give me your clothes. TOM You're supposed to be scaring the kids. 1ST PRISONER I said give me your clothes. Start with your shoes. Hurry up. You need some help? TOM I got it *hands his shoes to the 1st Prisoner who throws them*. Now you see this, kids *Hands over jacket*? [The jacket lands in front of the booty warrior. He takes the shank out of it] TOM You really, really, don't want this to happen to you, okay? 1ST PRISONER And your shirt too, n***a! Hurry up! Take it off! Okay kids, y'all motherf**ers looking? Huh? Tom just got his motherf**ing manhood tested and he failed. He should have knocked my motherf**ing head off. And you know what that means, don't you? Tom, you getting raped. THE BOOTY WARRIOR When you go to prison, the most important thing in your life is gonna be booty. A man's bu*t. Booty, getting some booty is more important than eating food. It's more important than drinking water. If I see a man I like, I tell him like this here: *Looks at Tom* I likes you, and I want you. Now, we can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. The choice is yours. What's it gonna be? I asked you a question, Tom. I can't hear you. TOM I- I don't want to answer. THE BOOTY WARRIOR Uh, excuse me I didn't hear you, Tom. TOM I said I-I don't want to answer. I don't wanna I don't wanna do this anymore. THE BOOTY WARRIOR Sound like to me you want it the hard way. [The Booty Warrior wraps his arm around Tom and places the shank up to his neck. Guards run in] THE BOOTY WARRIOR All right, everybody calm down! Calm down! Now we taking over the prison. So back up! [Tom remembers the move the Group Therapist taught him.] TOM You can't have my booty! *Tom drops his center of gravity. Then, he thrusts his hips backwards and his arms forward, breaking the hold* [The Booty Warrior is sent in to the wall] CUT TO: EXT. WILLIE HORTON MAIXMUM SECURITY PRISON – DAY [SWAT Teams and police pull up outside the prison as a riot goes on inside. News reporters appear as well] NEWS REPORTER And more reports coming in that hostages are being held inside the prison. CUT TO: INT. WILLIE HORTON MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON – DAY [Tom runs down a hallway] TOM Oh, my God. I can't believe this. [Tom runs to the phones mounted to the wall and dials 911] 911 DISPATCHER Hello, 911 emergency. TOM Oh, my God. Listen, you have to help! Help me, please! 911 DISPATCHER Sir, please calm down. What's your emergency? TOM I'm inside William Horton Maximum Security Prison and they attacked the guards. I think there's a riot happening. They've got hostages too. Children. Oh, my God, I left the children!!! 911 DISPATCHER Sir, where did you say you were again? TOM I'm inside the prison. How long before the cops come in and save us? 911 DISPATCHER Well, I wouldn't hold your breath. Yeah, I got a guy on the phone that says he's at Horton Prison. I- I don't know, I'll ask. Uh, sir, have they raped you yet? Ha-ha-ha! TOM Have they raped No! What kind of a f**ed up question is that? Hello? Hello. CUT TO: INT. TOM AND SARAH'S HOUSE – DAY [Sarah picks up a ringing phone] SARAH Hello? COMPUTER Hello. You have a collect call from a correctional facility from: TOM (FROM PHONE) *Crying*Tom! COMPUTER Do you accept the call? SARAH Yes! Yes! Honey! Oh, Tom! What's wrong? TOM I was in the prison, and Riley had a shank and I I didn't throw it away and then it started a riot. CUT TO: INT. WILLIE HORTON MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON – DAY [The prisoners argue with the hostages up against the wall] THE BOOTY WARRIOR (O.S.) Damn it, who let that booty get away? 2nd PRISONER Don't look at me!!! THE TOSSED SALAD GUY I was fighting with the guards. Well, what do we do now? 3RD PRISONER Ask him, it was his idea. I thought you had some escape plan worked out. THE BOOTY WARRIOR Wasn't no escape plan. Uh, booty is more important than escaping. So I said to myself when I seen that shank, "This an opportunity for me to get some booty." T 1ST PRISONER That was it? n***a, I thought you had demands. THE BOOTY WARRIOR Oh, I had demands. I had demands to get some booty. 1ST PRISONER I thought this was supposed to be some Attica type sh**. THE BOOTY WARRIOR Now, how y'all think that make me feel? Y'all let the booty get away. Now I got to go hunt down the booty. *Runs out of the room* Tom! UNCLE RUCKUS Please, do what you want to them two little gorilla chimps over there, but leave these beautiful little white children alone. WHITE KID Are you gonna rape us? 1ST PRISONER Do we look like priests? We ain't gonna hurt no kids. UNCLE RUCKUS Now, that's good. That's good. But it is okay if you do hurt them *Referring to Huey and Riley*. 1ST PRISONER Hey, n***a. Hey, didn't I just say we ain't gonna hurt no kids? So shut the f** up and let me think! HUEY No plan, huh? 1ST PRISON We didn't exactly put a whole lot of thought into this, you know what I'm saying? Guess we just kind of, you know, got caught up in the motherf**ing moment. HUEY You have grievances, right? 1ST PRISONER Like a motherf**er. HUEY Well, you got hostages. Might as well make the best of it. Make a list of reasonable demands in exchange for the hostages and this might all work out. 1ST PRIDONRR Hey, yo, what y'all think, n***as? Should we try to like, uh, you know what I'm saying and sh**, like, uh, negotiate with these motherf**ers for stuff? 2ND PRISONER There's definitely some things I'd like to see changed. 1ST PRISONER Me too. Well, if we gonna do this sh**, we need to do it right. We can't just be acting like a bunch of wild ignorant n***as out there just be shouting out demands and sh**. We got a motherf**ing black president now. UNCLES RUCKUS Ha! Good luck! Baboon Bama'll be in here soon too. 1ST PRISONER Hey, hey! You ain't too fat and ugly to get raped, motherf**er. UNCLE RUCKUS I apologize for my outburst. [We go back to Tom on the phone] TOM I left the kids. I gotta go back for the kids. SARAH Honey, just stay there. Let the professionals handle it. TOM No. This is all my f-fault. I have to make it right. I love you, sweetie. SARAH Tom! No, please don't be brave. Bravery isn't your thing. TOM I love you, sweetie. If I don't come back, tell Jazmine that I-I [Tom hangs up the phone and runs away. We go back to the room with the prisoners and the hostages] 1ST PRISONER Okay, so all the motions brought before this motherf**ing committee to add, uh, a demand to the official list of demands will be ratified with a motherf**ing majority vote, n***a. HUEY Unless that demand is vetoed from the committee chief executive, at which point it will require a two-third majority vote to pa**. 2ND PRISONER Yo, who gets to be the chief executive? 1ST PRISONER I'm the motherf**ing chief executive, motherf**er. 2ND PRISONER I didn't vote for you. I thought this was a democracy, you autocratic motherf**er. 1ST PRISONER Come over here, and say that sh** and I'll turn your motherf**ing teeth upside down. HUEY The chief executive is a rotating office to be held by each member of the Executive Riot Committee in order of prison ID number, for a period not to exceed 90 minutes time. THE TOSSED SALAD GUY Well, wait a goddamn minute. Who the f** is this Executive Riot Committee? 2ND PRISONER Us. THE TOSSED SALAD GUY Oh yeah, right. 1ST PRISONER Okay, good. First motion to introduce a demand for rafification: All in favor of b**hes? [All of the prisoners raise their hands] 1ST PRISONER Brother Huey, let the record show that the motion has pa**ed. Please add "b**hes" to the official list of demands. Okay, next motion? 2ND PRISONER White b**hes. THE TOSSED SALAD GUY Wait. Isn't that covered in b**hes? 2ND PRISONER Well, then we have to go back and amend the previous demand to specify white b**hes. THE TOSSED SALAD Why we gotta have a white b**h because you got a white b**h? 3RD PRISONER To me it's a wasted demand. They never gonna give us a white b**h. 2ND PRISONER They never give us one if we don't ask. We got to stand up, and not just demand b**hes, but white b**hes. 3RD PRISONER Well, f** it then, I want me an Alaskan b**h. THE TOSSED SALAD GUY Beggars can't be choosers, motherf**er. We already asking for b**hes, all right? 2ND PRISONER We have white hostages. We have the strategic leverage to get white b**hes. 3RD PRISONER Man, y'all being too picky, man. A b**h is a b**h. Man, look, look, why can't y'all just shut the f** up and be happy with whatever b**h we get up in here? 2ND PRISONER I guess you never heard the phrase "Yes, we can." It's my God-given right as an inmate to have a white b**h. HUEY That's not a God-given right for an inmate. Or anyone else, really. 2ND PRISONER Oh. Well, I may not have a God-given right to white b**hes, but I do have a God-given right to ask for white b**hes. 3RD PRISONER Hey, man, the n***a do have a point. 1ST PRISONER Hey, he's right. Motion to add "white b**hes" to the official list of demands. Everyone in favor? *They all raise their hands* Motion pa**es. Please add "white b**hes" to the official list of demands. 1ST PRISONER Okay, next motion. [We go back to Tom. He's sneaking through the hallways when to prisoners walk by] PRISONER WALKING BY I'm telling you they getting b**hes in here. As soon as they get the b**hes in here I'll stop tapping your a**. [Back with the prisoners] 1ST PRISONER Okay, so the list so far is "b**hes, White b**hes, Asian b**hes, Brazilian b**hes, East Indian b**hes, West Indian b**hes TOM *Tom cracks open the door* Ruckus! Come on! *The kids, Warden, and Ruckus sneak out of the door.* 1ST PRISONER (CONT'D) Broadband internet p**n, K- Y Jelly, Condoms, Viagra, People magazine, and Alaskan b**hes. HUEY Isn't there anything else you guys want? You may never get this chance again. Anything else? 2ND PRISONER I thought that's what the people magazine was for. 1ST PRISONER No n***as. I'm gonna knock that down too. HUEY What about an end to the outsourcing of prison labor to private companies? 2ND PRISONER I like that. 1ST PRISONER Yeah, yeah. That's not bad. THE TOSSED SALAD GUY What if we keep doing the work but they pay us in white b**hes? I'd work my a** off. [We're with Tom, Ruckus, the Kids, and the Warden] TOM Come on. RUCKUS Follow him, white children. n***as know they way through prison. [We go back to the prisoners. They argue when Huey looks up and gasps. The others look and see that the kids are gone. Back to Tom and the (former) hostages] TOM Thank God. Is everyone all right? THE WARDEN There's a service exit not far from here. UNCLE RUCKUS Aw, my precious little white children. *Hugs them* I told you, y'all would be safe with your Uncle Ruckus. TOM Ruckus, where's Huey and Riley? UNCLE RUCKUS Where they belong, with the convicts. TOM You left Huey and Riley? RUCKUS Course I did. TOM You guys go ahead. I've gotta go back. [Tom runs back] UNCLE RUCKUS Tom! Tom, are you crazy? Tom! Stay away from that tossed-salad guy! You got peanut allergies! [Tom walks down a hallway when he hears Prisoners screaming from a room he's coming up on.] PRISONERS You! I'm talking to you! [Tom steps back and opens the door to the shower room, he walks in and closes it behind him.] TOM The booty is mine. It belongs to me. *Steam burst from a pipe* AAAAAAAAAAAAH steam…. THE BOOTY WARRIOR Tom, come out to play. *He begins to throw soap at Tom* So you wanna do it the hard way, huh? I got it for you hard. Don't drop the soap, Tom! *comes from behind the steam naked* I want that booty, Tom. TOM You can't have my booty. THE BOOTY WARRIOR Oh, yeah, I can. TOM The booty is mine, it belongs to me, you cannot take my booty. The booty is mine, it belongs to me, you cannot take my booty. [Tom head bu*ts The Booty Warrior in the stomach. The Warrior interlocks his hands and slams them on Tom's back, sending him to the ground. He picks up Tom by his underpants. Tom punches The Booty Warrior in the nuts. He turns around and runs away. The Booty Warrior turns Tom around and punches him in to the wall. Tom slides down and this the ground. The Booty Warrior approaches Tom.] THE BOOTY WARRIOR Mhm *Tom stands up*. Mhm come on Tom! [The Booty Warrior slips on a bar of soap and hits his head on the ground hard. Tom picks up the soap and stands on top of him,] TOM You can't have it! *Throws the soap at The Warrior* [We go back to the prisoners in the room] TOSSED SALAD GUY Ah, man! RILEY Yo! Them n***as left without us. Ain't that a b**h. 1ST PRISONER Whose job was it to watch the motherf**ing hostages? TOSSED SALAD GUY You forgot to a**ign it to someone, Mr. Chief Motherf**ing Executive. 2ND PRISONER Did y'all know about this? HUEY If we did, do you think we'd still be here? 2ND PRISONER What are we gonna do with demands and no hostages? 3RD PRISONER We got them. THE TOSSED SALAD GUY Man, we won't get any strategic leverage with them two. I motion we end the riot, disband the Executive Riot Committee, and surrender to authorities. 1ST PRISONER Okay. All in favor of ending the riot. *They all raise their hands* 1ST PRISONER Motion pa**es. [The Tossed Salad Guy, 2nd Prisoner, and 3rd Prisoner leave. 2ND PRISONER Wait a minute, let me get this right. Do the, uh, jelly go inside your a**? 1ST PRISONER You know, I spend a lot of time, you know, thinking about all the sh** I could've done. I mean, I wake up in the morning and I think, I could've been the motherf**ing president. sh**. n***a, I wish things had've been different. I mean, I'd do anything in the motherf**ing world just for things to be different. I guess I'm just gonna be raping n***as' a**es for the rest of my motherf**ing life. [The 1st Prisoner leaves. Tom comes bursting through the doors screaming. Huey and Riley sit waiting.] TOM Boys! Boys, are you okay? HUEY Yeah. Are you okay? TOM Yes. Heh. I'm okay. For the first time in a long time, I'm okay. RILEY Of course you okay. You ran. How a chaperone gonna run, Mr. DuBois? Huh? "Leave the kids, save yourself?" Is that what chaperoning mean to you? *They begin to walk out of the prison. Tom and Huey ignore Riley* Pfft. I can't believe this is supposed to scare me. A prison full of b**h-a** n***as. The convicts is b**h-a** n***as. All they did was vote. The COs was b**h-a** n***as, 'cause they just fell over. And, Tom, you's a b**h-a** n***a too. Because all you did was run. They wouldn't know what to do with a real n***a like me up in here. Lucky for them I'm a little kid so they can't put me in a real jail. They gotta put me in a jail for, like, real n***a little kids. FADE TO: Black