Aaron Lazar - The Homeless Lady's Revenge lyrics

[LISA] Books for sale! "The Selected Stories of Gertrude Stein" only two bucks! We have books All sorts of fiction You can buy at a discount As of this count 103 books From cla**ics to mystery Also gay history here On the street Where do I get them? I have my sources Readers, divorces, lives go bad Kids go to college Mothers throw their books away And mothers throw their books away When mothers get mad We have books Handsome books All the books displayed in my trolley Poems, p**no and whackery Also some Thackeray here, here On the street [GORDON] First day out [ROGER] Just to the bank and back [GORDON] I feel about eight [ROGER] Don't hyperventilate It's normal out on the street Informal, lively and sweet [GORDON] It's raining which I abhor [ROGER] Ahem, but you won't find him complaining anymore [GORDON] No, no more [LISA] We have books [GORDON/ROGER] Life is wonderful [LISA] Fancy books [GORDON/ROGER] Very wonderful [LISA] Kind of damp but still quite legible James Bond up through [Doctor O?] [World's Fair?] to Doctor No here On the street [GORDON] I can't believe what I see Half these books belong to me Half these books With my name on the cover [ROGER] Some with the name of your lover [GORDON] But you have found my books You have found my history Oh, you don't know what this means to me It means to me I live I live But I'm not paying for my own goddamn books so we'll just take them right now [ROGER] Lady Grace Do you recognise my face? [LISA] Two bucks [ROGER] In an uninviting place [LISA] Two bucks [ROGER] I am someone who you've counseled once before [LISA] Don't touch them! [ROGER] Blink or somehow try to show I am someone who you know Please forgive me if I stand here to implore But here's his whole library Which I think is very, very well-worth fighting for [LISA] I don't care if you're the King of England I don't care if you're a saint It's two bucks! [GORDON] What?! [LISA] I don't care if life's a silly picnic Which is something that it ain't It's two bucks! Two bucks! If you were my mother Uno, dos! [GORDON] Oh, god... [LISA] Two bucks If you were my dog [ROGER] Where did you find them? [GORDON] You're making me crazy [LISA] I have my sources [GORDON] She's making me crazy [LISA] Readers, divorces [ROGER] Oh, Jesus Christ! [LISA] When lives go bad [GORDON] But these are mine! [LISA] Not anymore, they're not! And mothers throw their books away [GORDON] These are mine! [LISA] Mothers throw their books away When mothers get mad [GORDON] What? [LISA] Come buy them! [GORDON] No, no, no, no, no, come back here, she's got my books! [ROGER] Gordo, Gordo, Gordo! Gordo, what are you doing? They're only books [GORDON] What am I doing?