Watching the sky for starlight Point of flame in a dismal night Torrents of rain never ceasing Storms dark like these thoughts That plague me while I'm alone In a crowd of strangers I feel most alone Myriad of strange painted faces smiling like a friend But when I come in need Their fleeting shadows can not save me Consciousness births the absurd I've made my own hell If I had the chance to live it all over again I could never undo all the wrongs I've done Memories like knifes cut into my mind Heaven would be to forget I've made my own hell Remembering the many I have shunned Crawling ever deeper into myself Loved ones returning to haunt me again Ghostly fingers pointing their blame Now I see all eternity Stretching out before me Like Sisyphus I can never be Reconciled to my destiny The hand of fate had no part in this Every choice of my past has bought me to the stone