A.K.A. Pella - Hang Up the Payphone lyrics

I'm at a payphone, don't have a cellphone All of that changed one day last June Went to the Asifa, sat in Citifield's bleachers Heard lots of speeches, all six hundred and two I heard....... The gadgets make us lazy The shmutz out there is crazy The Kindle iPhone Roku The yetzer hara tries to choke you You need a K9 filter No, it's nisht a poodle It blocks YouTube and Twitter A Mashgiach while you google (Ay ay ay yay, you need a kosher phone) If Moshe Rabeinu lived today He would break all of the tablets Want a segula for shidduchim? Don't update your Facebook status If we want to end this galus, oh so long and bitter We should make She'luach Hakein to Angry Birds and Twitter (Ay ay ay yay, you need a glatt kosher phone) Chorus: I'm at a payphone, don't have a cellphone All of that changed one day last June Went to the Asifa, sat in Citifield's bleachers Got myself a Kosher phone mit Bluetoot (aka Bluetooth) But my phone's hashgacha's now uncertified The Vaad found out that Siri's not a guy They won't let me connect to my WiFi Cuz' Verizon's router is not 10 tefachim high So I'm at a payphone (Ay ay ay yay, you need a kosher phone) (Ay ay ay yay, you need a glatt kosher phone) We got to stop the "liking", the "tweeting", and the "poking" Instagram's a scam, it's mamesh worse than smoking Why is publicizing our whole lives such a mechaye I even know a guy, he just "checked in" from a levaya Chorus: I'm at a payphone, don't have a cellphone All of that changed one day last June Went to the Asifa, sat in Citifield's bleachers Got myself a Kosher phone mit Bluetoot (aka Bluetooth) But my phone's hashgacha's now uncertified The Vaad found out that Siri's not a guy They won't let me connect to my WiFi Cuz' Verizon's router is not 10 tefachim high So I'm at a payphone Yeah, who needs it I don't need to spend all of my time doing nothing Sitting all around and wondering' what to be watching The latest mishigas on YouTube, "Have you seen my Shvimkleid?" Yeah, it's stunning. That song about aveiros has got everybody humming The stuff people say on a shidduch, at a shiva, at the Seder I still don't get the zach about the Oppa Style Gangnam I don't need to see all of those deals (Even though they look delish) Or pictures of the people that you dated up on Only Simchas I don't expect you to "friend" me Don't expect me to care And you can post all your links, but Don't expect me to share And you can "tag" me in photos And you can write on my wall And you can retweet that I feel like I'm wasting my time Feel not satisfied, now I realize Glad my phone is uncertified. Chorus: I'm at a payphone, don't have a cellphone All of that changed one day last June Went to the Asifa, sat in Citifield's bleachers Got myself a Kosher phone mit Bluetoot (aka Bluetooth) But my phone's hashgacha's now uncertified The Vaad found out that Siri's not a guy They won't let me connect to my WiFi Cuz' Verizon's router is not 10 tefachim high So I'm at a payphone