But after a while I caught on I mean, I saw what they were hiring I also swiped my dance card once After an audition And on a scale of one to ten They gave me For dance, ten, for looks, three Well! Dance, ten, looks, three And I'm still on unemployment Dancing for my own enjoyment That ain't it, kid, That ain't it, kid! Dance, ten, looks, three Is like to die Left the theater And called the doctor For my appointment to buy Tits and a** Bought myself a fancy pair Tightened up the derriere Did the nose with it, All that goes with it! Tits and a** Had the bingo-bongos done Suddenly I'm getting national tours Tits and a** won't get you jobs Unless they're yours Didn't cost a fortune neither Didn't hurt my s** life either Flat and sa**y I would get the strays and losers Beggars really can't be choosers That ain't it, kid, that ain't it, kid Fix the cha**is,"How do you do" Life turned into an endless medley Of, "Gee, it had to be you" Why? Tits and a** Where the cupboard once was bare Now you knock and someone's there You have got 'em, hey, top to bottom, hey It's a gas Just a dash of silicone Shake your new maracas and your fine Tits and a** can change your life They sure changed mine You're all looking at my tits now, aren't you? They aren't that big I heard that, you b**h, I didn't want 'em like yours I wanted them in proportion Well, you got what you paid for I wouldn't mind having just one of yours Well go out and buy 'em Have it all done Honey, take my word Grab a cab, c'mon See the wizard on Park and 73 for Tits and a** Orchestra and balcony What they want is what cha see Keep the best of you Do all the rest of you Pits or cla** I have never seen it fail Debutante or chorus girl or wife Tits and a** Yes, tits and a** Have changed my life