A Breath Before Surfacing - d**h Is Swallowed In Victory lyrics

I crack my knuckles and let out a sigh The rain falls My face tilted towards the sky You must be insane if you think I have forgotten Not a night goes by that I don't reflect I'll admit that not every memory is clear But I don't consider that a bad thing I can't remember your voice It's lost to me Everyday I see your face It's a part of me I am not alone You have shown me the way The way not to be if I want to do more than watch TV How does it feel to be taken down a notch? Don't get me wrong, I miss you I'm just not sure how much The tears are welling up in anger For all the things you didn't do to stop the inevitable Everyone saw it coming Everyone but you ba*tard - I'll forever be This name that I bear is not of my own The rain can't wash away the shame though it is soothing There's no avoiding that I reap what you've sewn I stand before you today Not a scholar nor a picture of perfect health How am I to teach my unborn son to be a man when I have never learned myself?