3rd Element - I Hate u lyrics

I am idiotic I have no logic My mind was sold for fool's gold My soul was negotiated for insecurity in Heaven My greed crippled me I have nothing I thought I could love you I hate how you loved to make me hate myself I loved how you hated to make me love everything else I loved everything about everybody But I hate myself No one can love that I want to know how Should I hug my clone? Kiss its arms? Stroke its scars? Tickle itself Put my arm on it What do I know? I always play the shoulder to cry on But no one would lend me theirs So I cry on my own pillow It never judges because it never speaks It never harms me because it is immobile If she was alive and feminine, she would be my wife That's my shame My pride? What's that? Swagger? Never heard of that? Being real? What does that mean? My personality speaks more than tongues that even Hebrews try to decipher I must be schizo, I don't know if I'm me or not My self-respect lost respect in myself My self-love never seemed to love myself I feel like Kendrick Lamar, "i hate myself" What happened to me, i and myself?