3D Na'tee - Dear Father lyrics

You love me? -Yes I love you daddy No matter what? -No matter what... *Gunshot* My life is such a f**ing circus, born in the valley. Walking on this tight rope hoping it don't fail me. Tryna get his trust hoping it don't nail me. Sipping on this liquor my n***a I need therapy. Praying God there for me. He didn't really. Hoping he don't dismiss my cries this me simply b**hing. So man empty feelings, so many empty prescription.. bottles cause I swallowed every pill. While hoping lord it heals. How the f** I'm supposed to feel when my cousin in the slammer? Ex friend tryna k** me got me clutching on this hammer and diabetes keep f**ing with my grandma. So I wave the skies double lives no Hannah Montana because the truth is I'm really not a star. contrary to my new sh** I don't care about the cars or the clothes or the shows or my foes or these n***as and these hoes I just hope I reach my goal and keep my soul. staring in my compact. Losing my mind need GPS to find that. Was 16 was wondering where my mom at. Tryna find her and she was tryna find crack. I guess I'm old school because I don't take for granted the sh** I lay in my pro tools. I need to vent because this sh** a make you go postal. Dear God did you get them letters I wrote you?! I love you but at times I don't know you if I was in yo position swear I wouldn't ignore you! matter fact put my daddy on the phone. Asking why the fu*k I had no daddy in the home? f**ing f*gGOT! I treasured to see you up in that casket. what makes you think a fourth grader can deal with that sh**? S S I. What the f** was that sh**?! That's all you left us. You just depressed us. Mama stressed us yo mama blood test us. Thinking we wasn't yours How f**ing absurd? You ain't really deserve a f**ing daughter like me! k**ed yourself and ain't think where yo daughter might be in 12 years! So f**ing selfish! my lil brothers had homework they needed help with. I needed you to walk me down the aisle. f**ing Coward! How you walk out on yo child?! Now I'm in denial about.. all my relationships. Claiming I'm a diva take a n***a heart and play with it. get his number, get me in, then I erase the sh**. Because I'm scared to trust. Only lust. Chasing success knowing they won't give me the rush. I really want it. I bet it f**ing hurt don't it? to see me in moments in my career. Yelling in the sky "n***a you ain't get me here!!" Who shall I fear? who shall I rely on? My bestfriends had they daddies shoulder to cry on! Man pa** the phone back to Jesus! Matter fact n***a put it on speaker! See there was many nights I thought I'd never need you. Especially when I had to go to school holes in my sneakers. Started selling reefa. Graduated to h**n. Went to jail, said a prayer like "hello I'm here again" Sitting on my bunk bed venting. Repenting for those previous things I mentioned. See I love this rap sh** But never loved the attention. cause everyone think they know me. Thinking that they get me. Comparing me to kim, Foxy Brown & Nicki Wanting me to beef with them and I just wanted them to hear me. Think I'm egotistical when all my insecurities got me feeling like I'm never good enough to make it really. So I post in tweets on twitter saying I'm the best b**h and ain't a b**h realer. When really I'm no k**er. Yes I sell a lil crack but I'll give it all back if I can sell a lil rap. That's why I get pissed when they say I'm good for a chick because I don't do it for whips so I can stunt on the strip or so I can marry a baller all on celebrities dicks. so I can get flipped on some pinky and Cherokee sh**. my pedigree hit so sh**zus an Motiva Cannot compare to the diva. rap sh** or street sh**. And God I hope you don't get mad if I release this and daddy I love you I just went through so much deep sh**. Tryna keep this in my review. not complain be sane or at least appear to and til the day I'm Motherf**ing near you and we face to face I cannot say I could forgive you. But my intensions was not to come and belittle you I just don't wanna end up in surgery tryna get rid of you. God I love you. I really do. You too daddy. Signing out your little you *Sobs* I'm Gone