360 - I'm Sorry lyrics

[Verse:] I should be dead, maybe I got nine lives? Seven left cause I've already died twice I'm glad it wasn't bye-bye Because it's my time to do it without the high-life What I'm making is really dope But I needa talk about some sh** that happened a year ago Hold up, let me clear my throat Yo I'm about to get deep but I really hope you feel it though See talking 'bout it hurts Since when I was an addict but I was at my worst No-one knew, I didn't tell one person Couldn't bring myself to do it cause I felt like a burden Give me any drug, I was chewing 'em up If I have nine lives then I'm using 'em up No-one knew my addiction, it was stupid as f** Ninety pills daily of Nurofen Plus I know that's extreme and I should be dead right But I was so f**ed up my tolerance was that high That's the thing with the codeine addiction It's over the counter so you don't need prescriptions That's three packets in a day I didn't get high but I would have 'em anyway Cause if I didn't take 'em then I'd be hitting withdraws And guess what? All of this was mid-tour And I can't play in this form Having sh** thoughts like I got nothing to live for I was a zombie, I couldn't feel nothin' I smashed four packets cause I just wanted to feel something Yo, I overdosed for sure I was at the venue, I was going to perform I can't remember, see I was told in the report My tour manager found me convulsing on the floor Everyone surrounding, no one knowing what it's for Literally no one knew that I was going through it all I f**ed up, I should be knowing this before I'm a f**ing junkie, how am I going on a tour? I let down my fans and I owe it to them all That's why I'm being honest and so open with it all It's so hard no one knowing what is wrong I can't talk about it so I wrote it in this song Woke up in hospital going through withdrawals Someone guarding my bed but nobody would talk No phone there, nobody to call Saying "what the f** is going on?" and no one would inform me And I'm not knowing whats it's for Tubes everywhere, if only I could walk A man approaches "am I alright doc?" Then he tells me I'm on suicide watch I'm a danger to myself, I wouldn't be leaving I didn't try k** myself but they wouldn't believe me I spent a month in a hospital bed Living in a nightmare and I just wanted to end I'm thinking to myself have I got any friends? Or friends who don't use, have I got any left? There's many times where I'd want to be dead But we've lost too many and I don't want to be next Now I'm happy that I got me some rest I know for sure now that I don't want it again The harder I hit the gym then the stronger I get The more the devil on my shoulder hasn't got any strength I let my fans and my family down The people standing by me are like family now Yo I'm sorry to anyone who's a fan of me I understand if you wanted to abandon me But if it wasn't for my family I would've tied the knot on the rope the devil handed me I gotta show ma' father and my mum love And let 'em know that it's not them that f**ed up Now you got a quality son If I say I'm gonna do it then the job'll get done I embrace any pain, now I'm not gonna run The gym's a new addiction but a positive one The battle with addiction's a battle on its own The worst part is that I tried battle it alone So if your hearing this and your battling at home Tell somebody because your family should know I'm loving life now, I'm getting it back If I can do this sh** f**ing anyone can I can't remember cause I blacked out But I wouldn't change a thing cause it made me who I am now [Outro:] Bless up I'm back This time I'm not gonna f** off, I'm not gonna f** up I'm a different person I'm not just saying that I'm f**ing loving life at the moment and I'm Very grateful cause I should be f**ing dead And that's the truth Thanks to anyone who's supported me lately It's been insane, all the emails All the DMs on Instagram, everything Much love