360 - I'm Sorry (Facebook Upload) lyrics

I should be dead, maybe I've got nine lives Seven left, cause I've already died twice I'm glad it wasn't bye-bye Cause it's my time to do it without the high life What I'm making is really dope But I need to talk about some sh** that happened a year ago Hold up, let me clear my throat Yo I'm about to get deep, but I really hope you feel it though See talking about it hurts It's when I was an addict, but I was at my worst No one knew, I couldn't tell one person Couldn't bring myself to do it cause I felt like a burden Give me any drug, I was chewing them up If I have nine lives, then I'm using them up No one knew my addiction, it was stupid as f** 90 pills daily of Nurofen Plus I know that's extreme, and I should be dead right But I was so f**ed up, my tolerance was that high That's the thing with the codeine addiction It's over-the-counter so you don't need prescriptions That's three packets in a day I didn't get high, but I would have them anyway Cause if I didn't take them, then I'd be hitting withdrawals And guess what, all of this was mid-tour And I can't play in this form Having sh** thoughts like I've got nothing to live for I was a zombie, I couldn't feel nothing I smashed four packets cause I just wanted to feel something Yo I overdosed for sure I was at the venue, I was going to perform I can't remember, see I was told in the report My tour manager found me convulsing on the floor Everyone surrounding, no one knowing what it's for Literally no one knew that I was going through it all I f**ed up, I should be knowing this before I'm a f**ing junkie, how am I going on a tour? I let down my fans, and I owe it to them all That's why I'm being honest and so open with it all It's so hard no one knowing what is wrong I can't talk about it so I wrote it in this song Woke up in hospital, going through withdrawals Someone guarding my bed, but nobody would talk No phone there, nobody to call Saying "what the f** is going on" and no one would inform me And I'm not knowing what it's for Tubes everywhere, if only I could walk A man approaches, "Am I alright Doc?" Then he tells me I'm on suicide watch I'm a danger to myself, I wouldn't believe him I didn't try to k** myself, but they wouldn't believe me I spent a month in a hospital bed Living in a nightmare, and I just want it to end I'm thinking to myself, have I got any friends? Or friends that don't use, have I got any left? There's many times where I'd want to be dead But we've lots too many and I don't want to be next Now I'm happy that I got me some rest I know for sure now that I don't want it again The harder I hit the gym, then the stronger I get The more the devil on my shoulder hasn't got any strength I let my fans and my family down The people standing by me are like family now Yo I'm sorry to anyone who's a fan of me I understand if you wanted to abandon me But if it wasn't for my family I would have tied the knot in the rope the devil handed me I've gotta' show my father and my mum love And let them know it's not them that f**ed up Now you've got a quality son If I say I'm going to do it, then the job will get done I embrace any pain, now I'm not gonna' run The gym's a new addiction, but a positive one The battle with addiction is a battle on its own The worst part is I tried to battle it alone So if you're hearing this, and you're battling at home Tell somebody because your family should know I'm loving life now, I'm getting it back If I can do this sh**, f**ing anyone can I can't remember cause I blacked out But I wouldn't change a thing, cause it made me who I am now